they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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