Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
