ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
