I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck me I smell like cheese
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
