eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
