I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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