i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Farmville is her only friend.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
