That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
