think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
