You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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