I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can you bring me the toilet please
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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