he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
