yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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