she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
