I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize