Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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