I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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