Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
