I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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