I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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