Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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