If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
