the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
