I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize