And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
