We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am available for nakedness
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
