too bad you live with your parents still
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
