Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
