oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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