How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's always time for handjobs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
