i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
