the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
