Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
