I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
