I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
