so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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