just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
