she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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