I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
