I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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