just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
