none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
