What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we made out on top of his cat.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
