i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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