Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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