so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
