I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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