I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
ttyl tear gas
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
