you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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