okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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