Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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