So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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