I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
