Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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