i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
