I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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