I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
