so explain again why im purple
no
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
